Saving Lives by Being Seen with Marisa Peters: Ep 17
Highlights from the episode:
Parenting honestly through crisis when no playbook exists
The courage to name and face what scares us
How vulnerability creates deeper human connection
Why dreams don’t expire, even when life interrupts them
Podcast show notes:
When you meet Marisa Peters, her energy fills the room. She’s a mom of three boys, a performer, and now the co-founder of the Be Seen Foundation. But behind that brightness is a story of survival that changed everything.
At 39, while still nursing her youngest, Marisa learned she had late-stage colorectal cancer. What followed was months of treatment, a body she barely recognized, and the constant challenge of being present for her kids while fighting for her life. She’s honest about the hardest nights, the fear that never fully disappears, and the humor that sometimes kept her family afloat, like naming her tumor “Earl” so her kids had language to understand what was happening.
This is a story about illness, yes. But it’s also about marriage, music, and the ways we find ourselves again after everything has been stripped away.
What You’ll Discover in this Episode:
How early symptoms were missed for years (14:19)
Finding community through “poop parties” (22:04)
Talking to kids about cancer with honesty (36:12)
The reality of chemo’s hardest days (42:24)
The mental weight of scan anxiety (53:59)
Reclaiming old dreams in a new chapter (57:22)
Marisa’s story is a reminder that survival isn’t just about medicine; it’s about family, purpose, and the courage to keep living with intention. If you’ve ever wondered how to face life when everything changes overnight, this episode is for you.
Connect with MARISA PETERS
You can learn more about Marisa on her website.
Or you can listen to her podcast, From Carpools to Chemo.
If you feel called to it, you can give to Marisa’s foundation.
Follow Marisa on Instagram.
Be sure to subscribe to Things No One Tells You—Lindsay’s podcast all about the real, unfiltered conversations we don’t always have but should. From big names to everyday voices, each episode dives into the moments that shape us. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Follow along with Lindsay below!
Full Transcript
[00:00:00] Marisa: I met these young men in their thirties, in their forties, and in the hallway of the House of Representatives. They're confiding in me, and now they're living that wa,y, and it affects their relationships, it affects their confidence, it affects how they feel romantically, so on and so forth. But like that took me talking about my poop.
[00:00:22] It took me showing up, singing the night before, honoring lives lost to colorectal cancer. I was so nervous, I hadn't been on stage like that. Singing in that way for a really long time. We can hold two truths at the same time. I learned that when I was like, I am energetic and seemingly looking like a healthy person, and I have late-stage cancer.
[00:00:48] Lindsay: Hey guys, and welcome to this episode of Things No One Tells You, or TNOTY as we like to call it for short. Alright. This episode is cool because I actually did not know my guest as recent as three weeks ago, and I was so captivated by her story and what she had to share that I was like, I have to share your message and more of your story with this audience, so I can't wait to hear what you think, but I will give you the hint.
[00:01:16] She was a musical guest at a charity event that we just had because of that. I'm gonna start with a little joke right out of the gate. Why did the singer bring a ladder to the show?
[00:01:31] To hit the high notes. I love that one. All right, here's the deal. My guest this week is Marissa Peters. She is a musician. She is also a businesswoman, and she is a cancer survivor. So, to give you context, maybe some of you know this, but Melvin and I, Melvin, my husband, we host a charity event.
[00:01:53] This is the fourth year we've done it, called Bottoms Up. It's the Bottoms Up Invitational. And we do this in honor of his brother Lawrence, who lost his battle with colon cancer, a few years ago. And also my dad, Chet, who is a rectal cancer survivor. We're big believers in the advancement and technology that can lead to saving lives, through people coming together and raising awareness, raising money.
[00:02:20] and we partner with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance. So we just wrapped that event a couple of weekends ago, and it was amazing. We have a concert on Sunday, and it's a jam band session, so a bunch of different artists get up led by the guys from Hootie and the Blowfish, and we get up there and it's just a great night of music, camaraderie, all the things.
[00:02:42] And then Monday is always the golf tournament. So that night at the concert, and we do it in Bridgeport, Connecticut, Melvin and I always have to go backstage before the show and say hi to the folks in the Green room who have generously donated their time to come perform on stage. So we did that, and we went into the room, and we said hi to all the guests.
[00:03:01] Those are gonna get up and sing. And, there's this woman whom I had never met, and I had seen her name I knew on the list. Her name is Marissa Peters. And I went over to talk to Marissa. And first of all, not that this is important, but she is absolutely striking. When you see her in person, she's just a gorgeous human on the outside, but even more so on the inside.
[00:03:20] And, I introduced myself. We started talking, and Marissa shared that she was kicking off the show that night. She was gonna be the first singer and, that she was getting, getting over, having had treatment for rectal cancer. And so she started telling me more about her journey, and I was just blown away because Marissa is a mom of three.
[00:03:43] She was diagnosed when she was 39 years old, and has gone through so many different rounds of treatment, as well as surgeries, and the things that she had to share. And also talking about the stigma behind colorectal cancer. I was like, This is incredible. And I said, Please let me go on stage before you and just like connect the dots here for the people that we, I could just ask you a couple of questions.
[00:04:07] 'cause I wanted people in that room to understand her story and not just hear this amazing song that she wrote, to kick off that night. But so she, I, she agreed we did that. And I swear it was like you could hear a pin drop. I mean, she was amazing talking about her story, but also more so just sharing what she's learned about the importance of people talking about their experiences.
[00:04:27] So I asked her to please join me on this podcast because. I'm just gonna go ahead and warn you, like, parts of this conversation are messy. They are, we're just going right for it in terms of the conversation, and I think that's really important. Besides being someone who has walked through this whole path of cancer treatments, motherhood, at the same time, she has also taken a little bit of a pivot in what she is choosing to focus her time on professionally.
[00:04:58] And I think that is so cool. So the thing no one tells you, that is the first one she starts with, is just profound. And I think there's so much to learn from it. And I'm hopeful that people who might be going through their own cancer journey or dealing with hard things can really take something away from this.
[00:05:16] And there's a lot more conversation to be had. With Marissa, but for now, here it is. Marissa Peters on things no one tells you. Marissa Peters, I am just so grateful that you are joining us. You're joining his conversation, I should tell our listeners and viewers from LA, right? Is that where you are?
[00:05:34] Yes. Okay. In Los Angeles here at home. And one of the things I wanted to share with people before we get into the conversation here is I love how you frame your family label as Peter's party of five. Yes. Right? In our conversations, you will say Peter's party of five. Can you explain the ages of your kids right now, your three boys?
[00:05:56] Marisa: Yes. It's like we're walking into Applebee's. So, Peter's party of five today, our boys are 12, nine, and five. So we are, some people are like, whoa. Boy, Mom, here we go. It's awesome. But when they're all in the teenage years, holy moly, buckle in. I guess I've got a lot to. Yeah.
[00:06:17] Lindsay: But it's so great.
[00:06:18] And I mean, as you're just touching the 12, which is like maybe the beginning, but I think those are such fun ages still.
[00:06:26] Marisa: Yes. Such fun ages. And somebody gave me amazing advice when we were fresh into being parents. And it's like, don't mourn the loss of these little ages. Of course, there are things that you're not so sad about.
[00:06:39] To see go like diapers and bottles and whatever, all that, work stuff. But each chapter keeps getting better, and I can say that's like honestly true with each of them. And we still look back at those pictures and smile, and say, Ohh look, where'd the time go? But it's pretty awesome. I'm excited to see what lies ahead.
[00:07:01] Lindsay: I agree. Could not agree more. I just, I was just explaining about how we met literally, you know, in the green room backstage at the arena where you were performing at our Bottoms Up event. But I just love that not only, your story as a performer awesome, and seeing you up there on stage to open up our concert was like, so cool, so incredible.
[00:07:24] I love the song that you wrote, but then learning more about your backstory and your journey with rectal cancer, and just, it is, the work that you're doing right now is just so impactful and so awesome. So, I mean, I would love to start with, you shared with me two things that no one tells you that are very different veins, right?
[00:07:45] But do you remember what you talked about?
[00:07:48] Marisa: Yes. I mean, gosh, I just love the title of your show because there are an endless number of things. I can't wait to see how many different conversations get unpacked on your show. 'Cause there's so much that gets held in silence here. They're like, Oh, no one told you that.
[00:08:03] Yeah, nobody told you that. Yeah. I think the two are for me, that are like really present right now. Obviously, being a mom with really young boys, when I was diagnosed with cancer, nobody really taught me about how to parent through it. What can become a terminal illness? What for many is a terminal illness, and you know, really, how to communicate and parent through those times when you're just trying to fight for your life, frankly.
[00:08:39] soSo'd say that one, like parenting and communication through cancer, is a big one. And then the other is like, this is, it's gonna sound so, I don't know. I'm not gonna label it. I was gonna start to label it. But the other is like, when we're in high school and when we're younger, it's really common to be, " What do you wanna be when you grow up?
[00:09:01] What are those big dreams that you have? And I think this idea that whatever we dream at that age and stage in the midst of high school senioritis, like if you don't go after it and you don't realize it in those first few years, the notion that like those dreams don't have to die, that. There's an endless amount of possibilities for those to come to fruition.
[00:09:25] And for me, the dream of using my voice and music to make a positive difference in other people's lives and to really have it as a form of self-expression, it didn't have to stop as the 18-year-old Marissa aspiring to do something. Because life takes wild and crazy turns, and we can find ourselves in really surprising places, yet in the midst of those dreams really coming true.
[00:09:56] Lindsay: So nice. So when I saw you in that green room and we started talking, where were you mentally at that point? What was going through your mind?
[00:10:04] Marisa: Oh my gosh. Honestly, Lindsay, in the green room, I had so much fun. Being backstage again, being in the rehearsal before of just like in jeans and scrubs, everybody marking, working through being like, ah, I really messed up there.
[00:10:24] Let's try it again. Those kinds of vibes, like I haven't been in that environment for a really long time, and I just loved it. I was sitting there just, they were all just like pinch yourself moments when we met each other. Of course. And getting to be with the community that you and Craig have put together is just like.
[00:10:49] It was the most kind and welcoming and artistic and insanely talented, but not pretentious from anybody. Like we were all in it and there for a cause. It was a vibe. It was one that I loved, that I crave feeling again. It's like, ugh. I'm like, just bottle it up and carry it around. I just, I'm like, can't wait to feel it again.
[00:11:12] Honestly.
[00:11:13] Lindsay: What's your background in performing? For people who are watching or listening, you know, those who don’t know, take us through that.
[00:11:20] Marisa: Yeah, absolutely. So at a young age, I was a really loud person. Being a mom of three little boys, I know what it's like to see very different special talents bloom and grow in different ways.
[00:11:34] For me, my voice, I think, was described as just. Loud screaming more than singing as a little girl became a path of my mom harnessing it and starting to study voice at age seven, in the heart of Indiana, and starting to perform in musical theater and getting my first paycheck to do that, right around the age of 12.
[00:11:59] And I then went to school to pursue it at the University of Michigan, and moved directly to New York. Performed in New York, performed on Broadway, performed on tour in regional theaters. You know, a range of settings where anyone who has that gypsy lifestyle might show up. But for me, it was the pinnacle of what I aspired to do.
[00:12:23] And at the time of getting married, I was in Los Angeles. My husband and I met in New York, jumped coasts, as we were doing a bicoastal relationship in the early, the early months. And right before getting married, I got a call to go back to New York, and they wanted me to cancel our honeymoon and all kinds of things.
[00:12:45] And I was like, no. Like the whole yellow mindset. Yeah. Yeah. For a big Broadway show. Wow. For a big role. And I was like, if this is meant to be, it's gonna come back around. But that was really an inflection point for me of saying, like, I wanna have more control over my life and over what I'm doing, and how can I find a place in space that would allow me.
[00:13:08] To have both the control, but also the passion, and the lifestyle that was so important to me. I didn't wanna settle, so I never again would've guessed I would become a singing, tap-dancing HR lady. But did in fact do that, working at Sony Pictures and Amazon, with their digital entertainment businesses, Amazon Studios, and then became a chief people officer working in scaling, entertainment tech startups.
[00:13:32] So did that for almost another…
[00:13:36] Lindsay: It was like HR, right?
[00:13:36] Marisa: Seven, eight years. Yeah. HR lady, watch out.
[00:13:39] Lindsay: I love it.
[00:13:42] Marisa: That could be the furthest from the person that you would look at and be like, okay, she should be our HR lady. There are a lot of different kinds of HR people, right? Like, I'm not your police officer, regulator, rule maker kind of person, but more of the creative kind.
[00:13:56] Seeing the person, seeing the business objective, and how do you marry those two together was really like nirvana for me. And the sweet space where, like, I felt like I built, I brought something special to it.
[00:14:08] Lindsay: So then you're married, you start having kids, right? Yes. At what point did you get the diagnosis?
[00:14:17] At what point did Yeah. Things start to really change.
[00:14:19] Marisa: Totally. This is such an important part of the story because I think we realize, you know, we think we're experiencing something for a certain amount of time, yet I thought I had been experiencing these symptoms for a far shorter amount of time than I actually had, so
[00:14:38] Lindsay: Oh, wow.
[00:14:38] Marisa: Thankfully, I knew the moment when I had first communicated concerning symptoms, and that was bleeding. When I would have a bowel movement, I knew the first physician to whom I voiced that to. It turns up I was 33 years old. Wow. So it was over five years that I'd been having symptoms. We had two more boys born during that time.
[00:15:02] Okay. The symptoms started as intermittent. And so with relief, I was like, Oh, it's stopped. Thank God, you know, I don't have to deal with this. Like, oh yeah. That was a blip on the radar. Right. Totally. And like I did not know about the rise of colorectal cancer in younger and younger people. I had no idea.
[00:15:19] I knew about colonoscopies, but from my dad's experience, right? And he's a really funny, loud, big personality type of person. So the way he describes a person, a colonoscopy is actually, is very different from my experiences now having had many colonoscopies and done many preps and whatnot. But yeah, I was 39 years old when I was diagnosed.
[00:15:41] We were in the middle of the pandemic. Our baby was 16 months old. I was still nursing. Just for listeners, the first question after I share with people like, yeah, I had late-stage rectal cancer. People sometimes, I think, almost in an embarrassed way, they're like, what? If you don't mind my asking, what were those symptoms?
[00:16:01] So if you're cool, Lindsay, I'm down to just lay it out, right? Yeah, just lay it out. I think it's really important we're talking about what people don't talk about on this show. Yeah. So like the things no one tells you, share. This is it. So I'm gonna tell you today. Yeah. So it started with blood, when I went to the bathroom number two, right?
[00:16:19] As women, we're used to having blood as we're going to the bathroom on a monthly basis, potentially, right? But this was definitely different, and I noticed a little bit of blood on the toilet paper as I was wiping, right? We don't always like, check the toilet bowl, what's going on here afterwards.
[00:16:33] But that was the first indication. Then I started having ribbons of blood in my poop in my stool. And I'm like, that's weird. Then it increased, and it was almost.
[00:16:45] Lindsay: like very noticeable. Yeah. And not to get into it, but yeah, you could like,
[00:16:48] Marisa: I mean, it grew. Yeah, totally. I'm like, what's up with this red stripe through, you know, through my poop.
[00:16:55] This is bizarre. Then, the size, shape, and texture of my stool started changing. So it became almost shaggy. It was smaller, thinner. Then the blood started like almost fill the toilet bowl almost as if you were having a period. Right. This is when all the guys that are listeners, they're like, I'm out. I'm not listening to this episode anymore, but hold on.
[00:17:16] Lindsay: But it's important for them too.
[00:17:18] Marisa: It is because a lot of times, you know, your friend or partner or girlfriend or wife or whoever, or on the other side of it, if you're a guy experiencing this, you're gonna confide in the person that. You're closest to what you love most of all. And if someone ever tells you this is like a straight trip to the physician.
[00:17:38] This is a straight, like, fast track pass to a colonoscopy, right? Like, don't wait, don't, you know, pass, go. Let's get it done. But for me, I also had increased urgency to go to the bathroom, which makes sense. I had a five-centimeter tumor growing at the top of my rectum. Our rectum is what holds our stool until it's time to go to the bathroom.
[00:18:00] So if you've got, you know, a pomegranate-sized tumor hanging out in there, it's gonna be hard to hold it to go to the bathroom. So in the middle of the pandemic, like we're not eager to run into a bathroom. But I will never forget running into the Carl's Jr., like barely making it after having taken our infant's diapers and jammed them down my pants to make sure that, like, I'm not gonna put my pants.
[00:18:21] Like, it was scary. But fast forward to the doctor who actually saw me. I made it, in a serendipitous sort of way, to a gastroenterologist. And in that appointment, as I was sharing my symptoms, I will still never forget her face. And her question was like, Do you want a colonoscopy? Well, no, I've heard from my dad what a colonoscopy is.
[00:18:46] I'm not like wanting it. I don't want a 30-minute fart, like I'm a 39-year-old mom in the middle of living life. Like want a colonoscopy was not top of my list. But someone telling me I needed one, really important, I'm gonna follow all of those directions. And so our word choices become so important.
[00:19:03] It was after I came outta that colonoscopy and that same physician came into my husband and me and said, like we’re here. We're really sure, like we're gonna send it for labs. But like, I'm, I think she said like 96% or something, at least that's how I remember it coming out. I'm 96% sure that you have cancer. And my immediate response was, okay.
[00:19:24] Like, that's great. Do I have to do this prep again? Like, this is barbaric, and I've since figured out ways to make the prep far more tolerable. All kinds of tips and tricks. Yeah. Like, we're hosting a group of eight people who are gonna all do the prep with us in a couple weeks and are all doing their colonoscopies together, but it's gonna be amazing for them.
[00:19:44] 'cause I've figured out all the tough ways of going through it. And just had a colonoscopy, you know, two weeks ago, and it was awesome. The prep was awesome. So don't let anybody scare you on this,
[00:19:57] Lindsay: Like, gonna do that. But what, so what? Sidebar here when you host that. Prep party. Yes. How do you do that?
[00:20:04] Do you make sure that you have different bathrooms? Like what?
[00:20:07] Marisa: Great question, right, because I talk about urgency to go to the bathroom. When you do a colonoscopy prep, you don't wanna deal with, like, this is not taking a ticket at the deli line to go to the bathroom. No way. So we actually like how we live in Los Angeles, we work in, you know, film and television.
[00:20:23] You pull in all of your changing rooms, your toilets, like all of it. So I was like, we just need to pull in luxury toilets, so everyone's gonna have their own, we're not going like on the side of the field board potty. It's, yeah. Yeah. It's. They're fancy, they have AC, they've got great lighting. It's gonna be your own.
[00:20:44] There's no one like, who's in the stall next to me, where there's like air between the two. You don't need to share that experience in that sort of way. But frankly, all these people, their families, and children are gonna be like, yes, I didn't have to go through the colonoscopy prep with mom or dad. They did it in the trailer.
[00:21:00] But yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna be, everybody's gonna have their jugs. We're gonna have, you know, jello, shots of the magic potion, all kinds of activities to help get people through that, prep. Not in isolation, but with each other and still in their own comfort zone. We have a screening of a film called Andre is an Idiot, which premiered at Sundance last year and won the audience award for the best documentary.
[00:21:26] It's not available in theaters yet, but we have a special screening for them, so, shh. Don't. That's awesome. Super surprised. And then we all take a party bus the next day. To the colonoscopy, and everyone's booked two at a time. It's for real. It's like a full-on party, two at a time, 30-minute back-to-back.
[00:21:47] And by the end of a couple of hours, all of their plus ones will be there to come out of anesthesia and to get their results with them. And then we take that party bus to go share our first solids. So we have a meal together, kind of a debrief, and then they get to go home for the nap of their lives. You know, it's like, go sleep it off.
[00:22:04] Enjoy. And the best news is we'll have, you know, eight, maybe nine people that have all had colonoscopies that wouldn't have otherwise. And we'll be raising awareness for other people to, you know, see that all of the myths. Do you know how many people tell me, Oh, colonoscopies are only for men.
[00:22:24] Lindsay: Wow. Really?
[00:22:25] Marisa: They're not.
[00:22:26] Lindsay: So, okay. So I think what you've just described is amazing for people who are like, I wanna do that. I wanna be a part of that. Is there a way for them to get involved in future events that you have?
[00:22:37] Marisa: Great question. Thank you. Such a good idea to bring it up. Someone last week was just like, Marissa, this is like special sauce for being seen.
[00:22:46] You can go to our website, enter your information, and take our pledge. It's there, available for people, but put a special note in that you're like, I want in on a poop party. Please bring a poop party to my town or to my area, or whatever. And we, would love to be able to take this on the road, if not just for getting more people, to be seen, but also to, you know, to raise awareness for this because how many, you know, thousands of people are getting colonoscopies done right now as we speak, yet nobody knows and they're doing it by themselves and they're, you know, everybody says the prep is the hardest part, which is true, but we figured out how to make that really easy with chewing gum and gummy bears and broth and all kinds of different things, to really make that prep so much better.
[00:23:33] Lindsay: Okay, so let's go back to that office. So you're in the office? Yes. The doctor said 96% sure that's what you have. Yes. And what happens next?
[00:23:43] Marisa: Literally, life has turned up sound upside down overnight. We walk out, of course, you're coming out of anesthesia, so you're a little loopy already. But my sweet, amazing husband, like he turns ghost white and is like.
[00:23:56] This is literally my worst nightmare playing out before me. Withinn 10 days, we were already into my first round of chemo. So it moved insanely fast. 'Cause you were late stage, correct? You were.. So I was stage three. Fortunate for me. But yeah, six days after I had staging, two days after the colonoscopy, I knew it was confirmed as cancer.
[00:24:24] and I shared very openly. My husband and I shared very openly from the point of diagnosis. So, like we left the colonoscopy, we were in the parking lot. We called my family in Indiana. They all happened to be together that Monday, June 7th, having a, they were having like family dinner with each other, but they were there.
[00:24:46] hearing at the same time. My sister is a clinical, Clinical oncology pharmacist. And so she knows this far more than I did, and was like, this is, she still says this is the worst day of her life. We're trying to rewrite that history a little bit by turning it into a celebration of being alive on that date.
[00:25:06] which we did last year, but literally like, we called my bossand I was like, thanks for the support for the colonoscopy day off. This is what we found. And he was wonderful and was like, Why don't you just take two weeks and like focus on this new stuff for me? I was like, I'm not ready to drop the mic right now, and like, move to Marissa, cancer patient life.
[00:25:2, ] wanted to stay in it. So I was in the office the next day. I was actually like in a team meeting with my team when the call came from UCLA confirming that it was cancer. And I called everybody back for an emergency meeting, and I was like, guys, this is for real. Like, this is what's happening. I can't even remember when I stopped making calls to people who were close to me. I kind of reached max capacity. Somewhat quickly, but I shared very openly inside the company that I had been diagnosed. I was the chief people officer at a company called Video Amp. And that organization, trapped their arms around me, met me where I was at and where, you know, with what I needed, which was to still hold a sense of self while also going through treatment and my sister's words of advice.
[00:26:23] She was like, Marissa, keep life as normal as you can for as long as you can, because the time will come when you can no longer keep it normal. So. Just do it if you can. And so I did, I worked throughout the 11 months of treatment, but after my last surgery, it like got really real. But one thing I think that's important, Lindsay, is that as we were driving home from that colonoscopy, we pulled up to the house.
[00:26:51] I can like feel it, smell it, everything like what it was like to come back home. And our boys and all of our neighbors, we all, they all like to play in our front yard and hang out. It's kind of like the neighborhood meeting place and our babysitter with our little babe, who was a year and a half old.
[00:27:10] Like they're standing there and we're clearly not in a place of coming home to like. Share good news. And so that night, like we told them, something's growing in mom's body that's not supposed to be growing in mom's body, and we're gonna find out what's going on. But throughout that, we pretty quickly named, named my tumor.
[00:27:32] I knew, like as quickly as I met my cancer, that the tumor's name was gonna be Earl because I loved. The chicks and the song Goodbye, Earl, the song I was like, this is it. Like, Earl's, this isn't his home. Goodbye. Like, he's been kicked out. You are eviction. Notice you're outta here. Like you are gonna die for sure, not me, you.
[00:27:56] and he did in fact. But so for our boys, we talked about Earl for our whole community. Everybody knows, Earl, what that meant and how it took on a whole different meaning. But it gave us a way to communicate with them without, you know, saying cancer, like my childhood voice teacher had just died the year before of metastatic breast cancer in her early seventies.
[00:28:20] And so they knew that cancer takes lives. And yes, there, many of us, one in two statistically will get a cancer diagnosis in our lifetime, unfortunately. And one in two. One in two. It's like. I really wish that would change. I really hope we find a cure. I really hope that the research proves out, both with further innovation around genetic testing and predisposition, so that we can catch it earlier.
[00:28:49] But right now, our reality is that one in two people will hear the words someday in their life, you have cancer. So we found all kinds of different ways to meet our boys where they were at in communication with them. But yeah, four days later, without the lead time that I would suggest for others, I was done nursing for the last time in my life.
[00:29:10] I didn't know that was the last time that I would be nursing. This is where my list of the things they don't tell you begins. I'm like, it's, I got a long list, Lindsay. We're gonna focus on these two. On communication and parenting through cancer. And, also, you know, the dreams that we have as, as little ones, they don't have to die.
[00:29:30] They can come full circle as middle-aged adults, Older people with the great gift of getting to grow old. Yeah. If this is that message, to whoever the one person is that needs to hear it, it's like if you have that dream or that wish or that thing of, oh, I'd love to get to do this. Like, do it, find a way.
[00:29:53] Lindsay: And I was moved by that when you shared it because you were talking about how you were about to step on that stage and how you had written the song 10 days before, and your mom was there. And obviously, anyone who saw you up there performing is like, Oh my God, she's an amazing performer.
[00:30:12] And that's what you did by trade. But I think, I really think you're so right. It's like, and I've seen that, obviously, my story is a different vein, but it's like I, I still think that the things that got me into and lit me up about what I do as a career or they're still the same things along the way. And I think you're exactly right.
[00:30:32] And I think as women, especially. You. We can wear many hats, and we can pivot, and sometimes I actually think that it's intentional that we pivot better. Whether it's back to a thing that we feel like we wish we had done, or I think we're kind of wired, and it's intended to be that way a little bit.
[00:30:54] because I look at the stark contrast of how men are not wired that way, you know, and I love 'em, but it's just different. Yes. Right. But, I also think that it's really important the way that you talked about being really open. And I, yes, everyone has a different level of being open about a diagnosis, about what have you, but I think, you know, my father, you and I talked about this.
[00:31:16] My dad has rectal cancer and he has, and he has had a clean bill of health for a few years, still gets, his routine checkups, et cetera. But we didn't talk about it. A lot when I was growing up. And he also has lymphoma and he has, so that's a unique circumstance. But I think I wish I had asked more about it, and obviously, I still can now, which I'm so grateful for, but it's like, it kind of felt like a scarier, more unknown thing because we didn't talk about it.
[00:31:50] And I wanna be clear that I think the reason we didn't talk about it is 'cause I didn't know what to say. It wasn't that my parents weren't open to talking about it. It was just like me, initially a high schooler with a lymphoma, and then later in life, when he had the rectal cancer, and they're talking to him about the possibility of having a bag for the rest of his life.
[00:32:06] Which, the one thing I wanna say about the work that we do with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, I believe in it so strongly because the advancement in drugs is the reason that my father is the way that he is today. Because we've seen that there were drugs that he tried to use initially that did not work, he had to stop.
[00:32:28] Years later, circled back. And. He has helped save his life. Right. So, I guess one thing that I think that no one tells you is that you can; everyone has their unique journey in talking about it. And I just think from my experience, the more open you can be about it, yes. Is kinda what you're saying.
[00:32:46] It's like the best.
[00:32:47] Marisa: Yes. And, there are simple things when we communicate about this, like there are really subtle, simple things that may come up or open a conversation with someone where they feel less alone. And by exchange in the giving, you are also receiving. It's like that pain that you go through, using pain for a purpose.
[00:33:12] Is it easy for me to walk around and talk about what's going on with my poop? Like, no, don't be confused for one second. It is not fun as a boy mom, I'm like, did they ever think that their mom was gonna talk about poop more than that? No. Like when I grew up, but it was like a bad word. You don't say the word, but you sure as hell don't say other things.
[00:33:33] Yeah, and here I'm walking around being like, but cancer did you, you know, what's up your butt? And all these other ways of describing it. But pun intended, when we allow ourselves even just a little crack into the vulnerability, the amount that others feel comfortable to show up truly as themselves is, it has been massive in my life to see there are grown young men who this last march.
[00:34:06] At an event that an organization called Fight CRC puts on in Washington, DC, to help improve lobbying and access rights. You know, alongside the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, they were instrumental in lowering the screening age from 50 to age. 45 now. Yeah. When just standard of care goes in and is seen, like, get that colonoscopy, happy birthday, get it done.
[00:34:30] But while I was there, I met these young men in their thirties, in their forties. You know, one was there with his daughter in the hallway. Like the House of Representatives, they're confiding in me about needing to wear adult diapers and having incontinence issues that their pelvic floor was never treated and healed, and recovered from their treatment, and now they're living that way.
[00:34:55] And it affects their relationships, it affects their confidence, it affects how they feel romantically, so on and so forth. But like that took me talking about my poop. It took me showing up singing the night before, honoring lives lost to colorectal cancer. And like that, I was so nervous. I hadn't been on stage, like singing in that way, for a really long time.
[00:35:20] And. So even amidst being a confident person, it's this idea that we can hold two truths at the same time. We can be like so scared, nervous, and vulnerable, and show up as a confident, alive, happy person that we are. Both of those can be true. At the very same time, I learned that when I was like, I am energetic and seemingly looking like a healthy, feeling, like a healthy person, and I have late-stage cancer.
[00:35:48] Like these things can be happening at the same time in our lives, and that's part of the human experience. That's part of just like showing up and being real, and yeah, showing others that we're real, not just this like social media facade that everything's perfect. You know, standing in front of the Disneyland castle.
[00:36:05] Yeah. We're going through it too at the same time.
[00:36:08] Lindsay: What was it like telling your kids when you guys first told them?
[00:36:13] Marisa: Oh, so surreal. I mean, I think we just kind of were very brass tacks about it. And, to come back to your point about not knowing the questions to ask when you were a child, dealing with your father, being diagnosed with rectal cancer as well, like Yes.
[00:36:29] As kids with parents going through that, we don't know what to ask as parents going through it. We don't know what to say. Yeah. There's no playbook of what to do. Yeah. Or how to do it. Right. So, I have an amazing therapist who I work with, and not only does she specialize in trauma and motherhood and those kinds of things, but also in, in family therapy.
[00:36:52] And so she was instrumental in really helping me over time and then helping Josh over time, like really meet our kids where they were. So, I don't wanna for a second that this was not something I did alone at all, as a child with a parent who has cancer. You don't know what to ask or what to say, and I actually think as we get older, we start to have this screen up where we hold back what we're gonna say.
[00:37:22] So, and to a certain extent, it was a blessing that they were, you know, at the point of diagnosis. Just turned five years old and about to turn eight. So our oldest has an off the chart level of emotional intelligence. So for him. Everything was reading, like what's the emotion, what are the physical cues?
[00:37:44] When does, when do mom and dad's voices sound different? Like what he can walk in one second, read a room. It's like he's an empath, like aan mazing talent. He's such an empath, but he's also a sponge for it. So, this like showed up in his life in a series of kind of stories and things that in movies and in the world around would end up coming to kind of haunt him in different ways.
[00:38:09] So we communicated and talked and processed that with him, and that was really about how to put him into a position of control and seeing his way out of some of those scary circumstances. They were running direct parallels to my cancer and, like the stages that we were going through. Wow. For our middler, who happens to be homesick today
[00:38:33] He's innately curious. He wants to know how things work. He's like my little handyman, that's like beside me working the drill and fixing, you know, and building things. So he wanted to know how my port worked. My port, we called it like my Lego piece. It rose up out of my skin, where I would get hooked up for infusions.
[00:38:55] So he would feel it and like feel the different bumps on it. He would see where it went in and attach, you know, into my main artery, into my heart to pump chemotherapy. My chemo, I had to wear a pump at home, and it would pump for 46 hours, and it was literally like, ah, hooked on the nightstand. So we would like, you know, you're bringing hazardous material into your home.
[00:39:17] It's lovely. But I didn't have to stay inpatient, right? So we would explain how the pump works. You would hear the sound of it kind of clicking every. 20, 30 seconds pumping this infusion in. So we explained, okay, don't pull this wire. It's hooked to mom. Like, then you've got the baby. Yeah, the baby who was nursing and now this connection that he has known since birth is without any communication, and the lead time is gone.
[00:39:47] So that was probably the most abrasive and like harsh of transitions, not just for me, but also for him. Like the two weeks starting everything.Because we were used to that pattern. Now my husband was putting him down. And so, like we just needed to make a separation from that pattern so that he could get used to it.
[00:40:08] And also now my body is physically going through major changes on no longer right. Nursing, right. There wasn't a wean-down time period. You're just, you know, off. So that was really different for him. He processes still when I get sick. Even if it's just a cold or if I'm going in for, you know, some sort of basic procedure.
[00:40:31] His immediate response is, Mom, can you still hold me? He knows that, like, I couldn't lift more than five pounds after having rectal reconstruction after, you know, going through my ileostomy reversal after going through certain phases of this. So he relates being held with mom, being sick, and it being a yes or no answer.
[00:40:53] So it's like, come and sit next to me. I can't hold you, but you can sit on my lap. Or we just need to get set up in a different way for you to be able to still be in a different way. Oh yeah. But I think that's, to me, it's a testament through life. Still today, we'll be driving, and one of the boys from the backseat will be like, Mom, is your cancer gonna come back?
[00:41:14] Can your cancer come back? Like out of the blue, we're looking out the window, in these kinds of questions come up. They now know it's called cancer. But we were prepared to answer the cancer question, but we named things really, you know, in a way that met them for their age and stage, and for them to now understand kind of what that looks like.
[00:41:36] And the questions don't stop. Like they, they still come up. But I think by being open through this, we've been able to be open and they've been taught from their upbringing to ask the questions on their mind, and that they know and trust we're gonna meet them where they're at. And with a level of honesty and openness and candor, even when it's hard and it hurts.
[00:41:59] Lindsay: That is really just clear. Great advice, I think, for others to hear. For sure, what were the toughest times, like when you were going through the treatment? Especially in those early days? Was it, how was it physically for you?
[00:42:18] Marisa: Oh my gosh. Every day, I would honestly say every day and every chemo round was different.
[00:42:24] My third infusion was by far the hardest. Through a series of events, there were certain medications that. I didn't manage my symptoms in the way that they were supposed to. So I was extremely nauseous, like violently nauseous. And, with my best friend who's a NICU nurse, and my husband and our boys, we managed through that time and kept me out of the hospital, but through the night, like it was,
[00:42:59] Lindsay: Ohh no,
[00:43:00] Marisa: It was horrible. It was so depleting. And we got into the infusion center the next morning, and they were able to give me another round of infusion that stopped the vomiting. But it was that one, I was like telling my best friend, here's where our will is in the hallway, and here are the people to call.
[00:43:18] And like, literally I was like, okay, this is Thisthis isn't gonna work out for us
[00:43:23] Lindsay: Because you feel so sick.
[00:43:25] Marisa: Oh yeah. It was like, this is like, I'm, not, this is the end. Like this is coming, this is how it's gonna be. The other likes, and ironically,
[00:43:36] Lindsay: That's all that I, to just take a minute.
[00:43:38] Yeah. I like, I've heard, I feel like I've heard versions of that, whether it's you're reading it or you're hearing someone's story. And I actually think that's such an eye-opening thing to hear, to see you right now and how vibrant you are, but to know that you actually had those thoughts. Oh, yeah.
[00:43:55] Because that is how hard it was
[00:43:57] Marisa: For sure. You know?
[00:43:59] for sure. So a hundred percent, yeah. It's, I've even questioned, this is like a, this is a weird thought, Lindsay, but like, I've questioned because I was in a, lucky group, but I lost two-thirds of my hair. I didn't lose all of it. But I didn't, it wasn't really patchy.
[00:44:18] Like I didn't, you know, doctors told me, you're probably just gonna wanna shave your head because it's gonna look mangy and patchy and different than you're used to. Well, it didn't work that way for me. And I've even sat and thought like. I wonder if people think I'm making this up. Like I showed up, I was still working.
[00:44:37] I would go to all company meetings and get on the stage and present. I would like, you know, I was like, look, I feel good in this moment. I'm meant to keep life as normal as possible. I'm gonna show up. I can. Does it mean that I am like not also struggling and taking Imodium to stop my body from trying to just like rid itself of everything or whatever's, whatever those other things are?
[00:45:04] No. Like, I've really learned how to manage these things. It's part of why, like, being with you all last weekend and up on stage, I was like, I don't know what's gonna happen with my body. Let's see how my body feels through this. And like my body cooperated. It did. But when you're in an environment with people that are there who understand colorectal cancer and the ramifications of it, if Iweres were sitting on a toilet and in the bathroom for a long period of time, it wouldn't have been surprising.
[00:45:32] Would it have been frustrating? Would it have been painful? Would I have been mad that I was in that situation? Yes. But like these life-altering ramifications that I experienced and that others, they're not always, like, it's not a walking billboard, but it's a, it's an example to all of us that people can be going through stuff and not showing these like big signs and symptoms.
[00:45:53] But I don't know, does that make people question like, did she really go through it? Was her cancer bad enough? Was it really this or that? Like, I don't know, nobody's ever said that to my face, but you know, when you show up and look certain ways, like, my boys never had to see me with those, you know, big, glaring signs of what cancer is.
[00:46:14] But did they experience cancer as very young children? Oh, you better believe it. They experienced a whole heck of a lot. You know, my husband changed every single bag with me when I had my ileostomy. Every single one. We would race ourselves. We like. Would look at each other, and I was like, through sickness and in health, babe, like this is pretty sick.
[00:46:37] but he didn't flinch. He was there. He's like, I'm in it with you. Whatever it takes to have you by my side. And like you do, and you can grow in deeper love, your marriage and relationships can take on different shapes that were unimaginable, and you can still show up through it. You can still be yourself through it.
[00:46:54] There was another really hard time, though that's important to bring up, Lindsay, 'cause it's not just all rosy and cheery, of course. But that was when, like when I had my rectal reconstruction and then also after my reversal, my physical body.
[00:47:11] Lindsay: And a reversal is what? Sorry.
[00:47:13] Marisa: Oh, the reversal? Yes. Good question.
[00:47:15] So when you have an ileostomy, for some people, they have a colostomy or an ileostomy for the rest of their life, meaning, and that's a bag? It's a bag, yeah. That's like a giant, amazing sticker that sticks to your body where a part of your intestine comes through the walls of your abdominal muscles, and it's positioned there to eliminate that solid waste from your body, although it's not so solid in that form, you know, at that stage of where it's going through your gastrointestinal tract.
[00:47:46] Sobutut that bag is there, almost kind of like a little balloon, if you will, that fills up and then you empty it out and you do that throughout the day. Just as if you were needing to go through, you know, using the bathroom. And, depending upon your body and your cadence, every couple of days you need to change the bag entirely and reseal it to your body.
[00:48:08] And that experience is a wild one because, you know, our body is full of a number of sphincters that, some of which we control, some of which we don't, right? But it'sthese gates are opening and closing throughout our body. Our mouths we control, right? Like our bottom. If we're fortunate enough, we can decide when it's time to go to the bathroom.
[00:48:30] When you have an ostomy, like there is no sphincter there, it just goes when it wants to. So if you are doing this bag change, like. It can become a really wild experience, really quick. But Josh and I, we would like to literally start a timer, and we would be like, alright, let's see what we can do. You do this part, I do this part.
[00:48:52] We switch back and forth and do all these different things. But throughout that time, you know, you're working on skincare, you wanna make sure that you don't have like cracks and bleeding. You wanna make sure the seal is really secure and there, so it's catching everything, and you're racing against the clock because this stoma might decide to like, be part of the journey with you at that time.
[00:49:14] And it's like squirting all over the place, you know, like it's not fun. But to know the point of that,
[00:49:23] Lindsay: I never even thought about that. That is what I mean.
[00:49:25] Marisa: Oh, it's crazy. It's crazy, this body that we have. Like the things I told my surgeon as we were going in, I had an amazing surgeon chief of colorectal surgery at UCLA.
[00:49:36] He specializes in not just minimally invasive GI surgeries, but he is perfecting minimally invasive. And so, one word of advice, if anybody's listening to this, that is going through colorectal cancer treatment, like find the best surgeon you possibly can, because it impacts your quality of life on the other side.
[00:49:59] so, so important. But, throughout this, you just gotta keep giving voice to the signs and symptoms along the way. Because sometimes there are fixes for them, whether they come from medical professionals or they come from other people who are going through something similar. You don't have to sit and suffer in the midst of it.
[00:50:24] And so with my sister as an oncology pharmacist with the care team that I had, I was really vocal about like nitty gritty things. That really helped me get through the entire full span of treatment, which was six rounds of chemo, 28 days of radiation, a seven-plus-hour-long rectal reconstruction surgery week in the hospital bag for four months, six more rounds of chemo.
[00:50:50] And then the reversal, which I was telling you about, which is basically them reconnecting
[00:50:54] Lindsay: Six more rounds of chemo.
[00:50:55] Marisa: Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was gnarly. But we put that. You know, the system is back together, and they're like, This is such a simple surgery. This, you know, my surgeon was like, oh, this is a cakewalk.
[00:51:10] Well, guess what? It was a cakewalk for him because it was less than an hour to put me back together. Yeah. For me, I'm like, okay, number one, this system hasn't been used in this way for four months. Like, it was extremely painful starting to go to the bathroom again. It was just like a lot to manage, and there are things to help manage.
[00:51:35] but there were times like that, that I felt like, what is this? What is this life that I like? I tried so hard to live and fight for now I'm in excruciating pain, like I'm going to the bathroom number twos like so many times a day, which is painful and messy and all the things. It's a lot. But those are the times that, like, thankfully, having a great therapist, having a community, inviting others in, and not putting yourself in a position of being isolated, to just like ruminate with those tough, dark thoughts, is really important throughout it.
[00:52:11] but it's getting to a place like we shared last weekend, like that's where revisiting those dreams, seeing what you were trying to fight for and live for, being a mom, being a part of their lives, being a wife, that's like. Aspires to be married at 17 years, married to someone like, and reach that 50th wedding anniversary. Like all of those things, this care team made it possible.
[00:52:34] but for over five years of symptoms would've been really easy for that not to be my story. So that's part of why I'm going out so much about it.
[00:52:42] Lindsay: What is the current state of your cancer? Yeah. What is your situation? Where are things right now?
[00:52:51] Marisa: Yeah. Important question. So I had what's called a complete response, a cr preoperatively, which significantly lowers my odds for recurrence.
[00:53:03] So it worked. You know, in my case, I am under an immense amount of surveillance, so that means I get blood work every three months. There's an amazing test that I get, which is called a Signator CT, DNA test. And it gives me great assurance in terms of going into my scans. So I get CT scans, I have MRIs, just to make sure that we don't have an, incidents of that colorectal cancer showing up in areas where it potentially metastasizes first.
[00:53:37] So, metastatic colorectal cancer typically first goes to the liver and to the lungs. So we keep a really close watch on those areas. I am, I'm continually in with doctors. I go in and I'm like, I'm a super user of the system. Yes, everything's current. But staying up on that screening is really important.
[00:53:58] Yeah, I'm watching very closely. In being watched very closely. It means every time that I have results that I'm awaiting, this idea of scanxiety is very present.
[00:54:12] Whenever I'm waiting for results, it's not, do I have less than a, you know, a 13% chance of recurrence? Do I have really low odds? Like I'm, it's either a zero or a one.
[00:54:24] I either do or I don't. And anytime someone that's going through something like this is awaiting those results, it's both going in and the reminder that you've been through a lot, it's the coming out and waiting for it. It's the communication around it. I've had some very triggering experiences where I was awaiting results and my oncologist's office calls, and they're.
[00:54:49] Just scheduling a checkup, but I'm like, you never called, and I'm awaiting results. It's back like I was in New York in meetings, and that happened a few years ago, and I was like, it's back. It's back. And I'm in the one-year post, you know, post-treatment ending. Here we go again. Like, and your mind goes to those places.
[00:55:11] It's so fresh. But no, the schedule was just calling to schedule a Zoom. It wasn't any of those things.
[00:55:20] Lindsay: Right. Right. But our minds.
[00:55:23] Marisa: Our minds are wild, and where they can take us. Yeah. And good and bad ways
[00:55:28] Lindsay: That, so the thing no one tells you about the part that is the dreams and the things that are these passions that show up for you.
[00:55:37] Was there a moment that you had that realization and that, that, kind of manifested in, wait a minute, I want to go back to more of that.
[00:55:47] Marisa: I've been a believer that we can't limit the unique life experiences without turning a crisis into something that can be good or could be a unique differentiator.
[00:56:04] So from a professional standpoint, I'd been in a range of really unique circumstances that I'm like this never like, whoa, look at the pandemic alone. All of us were in the middle of a really unique circumstance, but it was in, it was individual for all of us. So for me, like I had the chapter of life as Marissa, the professional performer, and I closed that chapter and discovered a new one.
[00:56:32] I loved both, with the same amount of passion, and they met me where I was at, that stage of life, in a very different way, having cancer and gone from that career of professional performer to that of. You know, executive leader to now what I'm doing. I really feel I'm combining all of those things in one, where speaking out and being able to speak where using art, ll, it's come in this clandestine way now to use my voice to literally save lives.
[00:57:05] Like, I am not a medical professional. I do not have the capacity to treat people in medical settings or nor the aspiration to do that. But if I can give voice, that allows people to be seen in their lives for the wholeness that they possess, warts, ugliness, beauty in all of it in one, awesome. Then that's my life purpose lived out.
[00:57:33] For me, being in tune with what brings me the most joy, like I am happiest when I am singing, when I'm able to do that, and I can marry that with purpose. That's like the best thing in the whole world for me. And I've come to realize that when I do what brings me the greatest amount of joy in the most surprising ways, it's actually giving the most to others.
[00:58:02] Right. We did this celebration of living earlier this summer, which was the prize I wanted through cancer treatment. I just wanted a room full of the people who got you through who love you so much. And you love so much like the people at your wedding. Yes. The people at your funeral. Yes. Like I wanted to be there physically.
[00:58:23] I'll be at that funeral just in spirit. Right? But we are guaranteed birth and death. I just wanted a room full of those people on the other side of cancer to celebrate that we did this, not I, that we did this, that we kicked butt cancer, and I am here living as a result of it. And that happened, we did it on the day of my diagnosis, four years to the date this last summer.
[00:58:46] And it was a musical celebration. Original artists, you know, 18-piece, big band, loved ones there, sharing words. And we actually gave awards to my entire care team, the leaders of that. We gave live awards to each of them. We did it. That was a dream. I actually like. There were so many times I was like, This is never gonna happen.
[00:59:07] I am never gonna get this. It's gonna be too costly. It's, we're not gonna be able to pull it off. I'm not gonna be like all these things. But we did it. That was a big dream that gave me the strength to get through those darkest of days. I was like, we've got to do it. We've got to give things, we've got to give back.
[00:59:23] We've got to share this same air together. Last weekend on that stage, sharing it with you, Lindsay, that was like the 18-year-old Marissa completing a dream. Like I felt like a rockstar.
[00:59:42] Lindsay: And because you were.
[00:59:43] Marisa: Ugh, please.
[00:59:45] Lindsay: And you kicked it off. I love that. So yes, Marissa was the first performer, and it was awesome.
[00:59:52] And I can't believe that we were gonna have you kick it off and just, and I know that they would've mentioned something, but I was like, we have to hear your story, 'cause not only is it like. You are so incredible, and you have so much to share and to give back. And like, to your point, I think you just said that so beautifully.
[01:00:09] Yes. It's like when you can share your vulnerability of what you've been through and do the thing that lights you up more than anything else. That's a real gift. Yeah. But bButyeah, I just, I was like, I cannot see a version where we have you go on stage and don't share that you wrote this song with your mom 10 days prior, and that, you know, it's just, everything about it was really beautiful,
[01:00:33] Marisa: By the way,
[01:00:34] Lindsay: including your dress.
[01:00:35] Marisa: Oh, thank you. I wore that dress at my celebration of being alive. That's like, that dress screams I'm alive, doesn't it? It's like so fun. It's so bold and out there.
[01:00:45] Lindsay: Yes. We'll put a picture in the show notes. Yes.
[01:00:47] Marisa: It was Amazing. Amazing. I love wearing that dress, and who knows if I'll get to do it again, in an environment like that, but when I was invited to sing, I was like, I know what I'm wearing.
[01:00:58] I do not know what I'm singing. And my mom and I have never written like that together with each other before I happened to be home. And it just, sometimes these dreams, like if we say yes to the moment and we, just like create a little bit of space, it can actually be so simple. Looking back, I'm like, what a bananas thing.
[01:01:22] I would never tell anybody a word about your 11 months of chemo treatment. I would never tell anybody, write a song and perform it 10 days later on, like a stage in the middle of this beautiful arena for a cause that is like the most worthy, and oh, it's gonna raise $1.1 million by, you know, me being a small part of it.
[01:01:40] Holy moly. No. If I ever told the 18-year-old self that was a potential of my future. No, never. But like I dreamed of being a music artist, the most vulnerable thing I can do is share my music. I have literally only shared it with my best friend before that same one that was there the night, you know, like the same one that was there through the second two deliveries of my children, like.
[01:02:05] But I shared it with the world, and it happened with my mom, and like a day before the performance, she decided to book a flight and be there too. And all of it, like mom, it just was, yeah, it was just so simple. I was gonna be there by myself, you know? Like it was the first time I was gonna go do it without our boys, performing.
[01:02:21] Lindsay: And I ran into your mom in the back, in the very beginning of the night, and it was you, they were there, and they came in, and your mom was like, I'm Marissa's mom, I'm looking for her. And I was like, oh my gosh. I just talked to him, and it was such a serendipitous thing because then she gave me her pen that she had, and I was like, oh, this is so great.
[01:02:42] This is just, yeah. There was something like magical and very, not coincidental, about the whole thing. You know.
[01:02:48] Marisa: No. And like I felt for the first time, so a part of the goodness that this community and this horrible cancer that like just. Wreaks havoc on lives and takes lives, and you know, that we wish we would never, ever experience.
[01:03:10] And that can be true in the very same moment that we are sharing something that we are so grateful for that couldn't be created any other way. That, you know, those people in that room wouldn't have come together at that time and place without the two of you seeing and creating that environment and using it to do good and to celebrate, you know, Lawrence and the loss of life.
[01:03:36] And to take that and try to spare others and to try and create breakthroughs and to, you know, put our time and money where our intentions are. It's really powerful. Thank you. Really, what you both have done.
[01:03:51] Lindsay: Thank you. Well, likewise. You too. And I think the work that you're doing with Be Seen is amazing.
[01:03:56] Do you have, before we wrap, is there anything that's on your mind that you think is really important for people to hear or that you would love to share? Before, before we say goodbye? For now,
[01:04:09] Marisa: I would just say if you have a moment of adversity, either that you're in the middle of right now or that you've experienced and it's gone, kept as a secret or it's gone, unseen or maybe underutilized in your life, I would encourage you to find that safe, spl safe space and that special person.
[01:04:31] And if there's a small part of our movement@beseen.care, where you would like to share that with us. I would welcome it. There's a place on our website@beseen.care, where you can not only take our pledge to say that you're going to commit to being seen, which means you're gonna get your colonoscopy, you're gonna get a stool-based test to make sure that this disease doesn't reach you.
[01:04:54] There's also a space for you to share your story, and we're finding special ways to connect with people who've shared those stories with us. And, we would love, love, love nothing more than to hear from you. But if for nothing more than just a gentle nudge in your life, to journal about that today, to find a person to share it with in some way, just to connect back and see that self within you, this is your little reminder to do that.
[01:05:22] Lindsay: Thank you, Marissa. It's always Thank you. So good to see you. Thank you for your time.
[01:05:26] Marisa: You too.
[01:05:27] Lindsay: Tell those little people and Josh Hello.
[01:05:30] Marisa: Yes, I will. I will, and the same to your crew. And, so glad that. You have had me come and share this conversation, and for this cancer community that connects all of us. I really appreciate it.
[01:05:43] Lindsay: No, thank you. Thank you for all of it. And especially the intel on the poop parties, 'cause I think that is a fantastic idea.
[01:05:49] Marisa: We shouldn't have to do that alone.
[01:05:51] Lindsay: No.
[01:05:51] Marisa: There are better ways to do it. Like, let's get after it. Yes, let's go.
[01:05:55] Lindsay: Great idea. I think one of the most eye-opening things for me was when Marissa was talking about the fact that she's been through all these really hard things and this really grueling treatment.
[01:06:07] And then the fact that she did keep saying that she looks like a face. You don't expect to be a face of someone with cancer. And having met her, that's kind of what I was thinking when I first met her in person. But also to understand that she's not that far off from the times when she was really questioning whether she was gonna make it, and to see.
[01:06:30] How vibrant she seems right now. But that is still always going to be a journey for her. And also the work that she has done for the platform she created, which I think is incredible. So I just wanna put a plug in, we will have this in our show notes, but if anyone is or knows someone who is going through cancer of any kind, to be honest, I think what she's created on her website and the podcast that she has, which is carpools to chemo, is just really.
[01:06:59] Helpful and insightful information. And if you take some time to peruse her website, you will see. It is all there and all great, crucial information for getting yourself checked, et cetera. So thank you, Marissa, for taking the time to join, and I'm grateful to her family also because she actually had a sick child at home that day.
[01:07:20] But, anyway, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for taking the time. I would love for you to please subscribe to YouTube or anywhere you listen to your podcast. Let us know what is a thing no one tells you that you would love to hear talked about and discussed. We're all ears. But as always, we appreciate you joining in and being a part of this community.
[01:07:40] I can't wait. I'll see you next time. Thanks. Thanks so much for joining me. I can't wait to see you back here next week. Please don't forget, follow and subscribe to things no one tells you. And of course, if you're listening on Apple Podcast, don't forget to leave a five-star review because. That's really what helps people get more.
[01:07:56] Listeners, we would love to grow this community. We are so grateful that you're a part of it. See you next time.
