Things No One Tells You About The Work Behind the Spotlight with Craig Melvin: Ep 6
Highlights from the episode:
What Melvin didn’t expect after landing his dream job
The emotional release Melvin finds through candle-making
Why saying “no” became a crucial boundary
The unexpected struggle of staying at the top
Podcast show notes:
Craig Melvin is no doubt a familiar face on one of TV’s most popular morning shows. In this episode, he shares what it’s like behind the scenes.
Some of the most common questions I get since he took the seat of Today Show co-host in January are what is it like, and how has it changed for him? Melvin and I talk about that and more, including the weight of visibility, the emotional demands of the job, and the unexpected peace he’s found through a hobby that has nothing to do with headlines.
From the Today Show to his garage candle studio, Melvin shares what he’s still learning about ambition, identity, and finding meaning in daily life.
What You’ll Discover:
The surprising workload beyond the show itself (08:33)
What it really takes to stay prepared under pressure (14:02)
Protecting your peace while living publicly (14:33)
Why Melvin values interviews with everyday people most (19:44)
The emotional cost of ambition, and how he’s reframing it (21:29)
A surprising new passion for candle-making (31:42)
How creativity is helping Melvin reconnect with what matters (34:44)
This is a powerful reminder that even at the top, people are carrying invisible weight. If you’ve ever felt the pressure to keep it all together, Melvin’s honesty might just offer the permission you didn’t know you needed to find your own groove.
Connect with CRAIG MELVIN
Connect with Craig Melvin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/craigmelvinnbc/
Be sure to subscribe to Things No One Tells You—Lindsay’s podcast all about the real, unfiltered conversations we don’t always have but should. From big names to everyday voices, each episode dives into the moments that shape us. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!
Follow along with Lindsay below!
Full Transcript
[00:00:00] Melvin: And so, you start realizing that a lot of people who we have deemed successful, who've achieved, professionally, reasonable modicum of success. They have things on the side that I'm fairly certain now, make them better at what they do primarily. Does that make sense?
[00:00:22] Lindsay: It does, because that's part of why I go to my improv class.
[00:00:26] Melvin: I know.
[00:00:27] Lindsay: And I'm not. But the thing about that and what you just said,
[00:00:30] Melvin: And it's made you so much funnier, too.
[00:00:32] Lindsay: I'm not good at it.
[00:00:34] Melvin: That's not true.
[00:00:34] Lindsay: No. Last class, we were paired up with a buddy and then we had to be an inanimate object, and they told us what we were, and guess what I was... we were two sausage links.
[00:00:46] Hey everybody. I'm Lindsay Czarniak and this is Things No One Tells You. This is a podcast about the behind the scenes moments that shape who we are, those things that also are really relatable and really connect us. So, each week I'm gonna talk with newsmakers, trailblazers in the worlds of sports, entertainment, all things, but also everyday folks, people who are talking about the real stuff that no one tends to share.
[00:01:10] Follow me at Lindsay Czarniak and be sure to subscribe, rate, and review Things No One Tells You wherever you like to listen. Hey guys, and welcome to the latest episode of Things No One Tells You, or Tea-Naughty, as we like to call it. I'm Lindsay and this episode is one I was really excited about because this actually might be the toughest guest yet in terms of scheduling and figuring out when we could get him to do it. I did not have to go far, but I did have to work through a lot of scheduling snafus barriers but we're here. This is so exciting. My guest today is my husband, Craig Melvin, and, one thing I love working with him because that's actually how we met, and I'll go more into that in a moment.
[00:01:56] But I have realized, I think, asking people about the thing. No one tells you. It's like a fun icebreaker, but also in some circumstances, like when it's with your significant other, it can actually be really enlightening, and I think insightful information for you to have. And so that's what I'm really excited to have you guys hear in this episode. We're gonna cover a lot of different things, including work, life, accomplishing your dreams, hobbies, et cetera. But a little context. So, we met at the TV station where we were both working in Washington, DC, the NBC affiliate, WRC, and gosh, we have such great memories of being there. I had been working there for a few years doing sports, and I was on assignment in Beijing, China, and I was doing the Olympics.
[00:02:45] I came back, I did not know my station had hired a new news anchor. And, I came in on a Saturday to work the Saturday show, and I run upstairs, slide into the set, and this new guy turns around and says, "Oh, look who's back from China.” And I was just like, “Who is this person?” I remember because I was like, he's super energetic and gregarious and I've never met him or seen him before in my life. And anyway, it's such a fond memory. We actually have it on video because who would've thought that person would end up being my husband? And it was wild because in the years that followed, for a while we really had to keep it under wraps. And it was just a really special time.
[00:03:30] Once people knew that in our station that we were together, we were engaged, yada yada, that's a story for another day. But I will say that. Our journey from that point and then leaving DC moving together where both of us took on new jobs. It has been such a ride. It has been, I would say, exciting, challenging, eye-opening. Certainly satisfying, rewarding, humbling, all the things you can think of. And we're just still learning. And I think what I'm so excited for you to hear is what he believes and what he's realized since taking on his new role as the co-host of the Today Show. That happened in January, and it was a magical moment for our family.
[00:04:11] It was amazing. It's amazing for him. But it also has just been a lot of new normals and a lot of adjusting to new routines, and he has, honestly, I think handled it beautifully. And we are still absolutely learning. And now for a little levity, because we're talking about tv, my favorite TV show from when I was younger and one that I still watch.
[00:04:34] What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes! Come on. It's good. It's really good. Anyway, Melvin enjoys that show too, but I asked him to join me, besides his new job, talking about his new hobby, which is making candles, and he has dug into that with reckless abandon. You will hear why and how. Anyway, I've spent time with him at his office and so now I'm excited to have him come to mine.
[00:05:05] I am super excited because I'm waiting for Melvin to come into my little office here. Which, by the way, he hasn't seen this, so I'm very, very excited. He loves plants, so I've positioned this succulent just as a nod to him. We'll see if he points it out. I think he will. It looks a little unhealthy. We're gonna water that guy. My husband refused to tell me when I pushed him what the thing no one tells you that he wanted to talk about is. So, I really have zero direction of which direction this is gonna go. I can't wait to hear what he says and just react authentically in real time.
[00:05:43] But I also am very excited to introduce you guys if you're not aware of his candle making hobby. This is also why I have this nod to him here in the middle of the table. This is a candle he poured. It smells very good. It's actually maybe a little tobacco-ish. I'm not sure. Bourbon, I don't know. But anyway, when he comes in, we're gonna talk about this side hobby, and also, we are going to talk about what it's like taking over a new job that is very much in the public eye. So, I'm curious how much he will go into that in the meantime, he also doesn't know that. It happens to be by the blessing of the timing gods, that today is the official launch of our trailer for the Things No One Tells You. So, I'm going to surprise him with a little bubbly to celebrate. So, there's that. And now we wait.
[00:06:36] All right, welcome. But where are you? Look, no, I'm super excited because this is your first time in this space.
[00:06:48] Melvin: You mean in my house?
[00:06:51] Lindsay: Yes. In this amazing corner. But also
[00:06:54] Melvin: This is, yes, this is, this is nice. I sent that to you.
[00:06:57] Lindsay: Thanks. This is what you maybe don't know, because of timing here. We're recording this a little bit before folks will hear it, but it's actually...
[00:07:09] Melvin: Why did I get a child pour?
[00:07:10] Lindsay: It's the official launch day. The trailer is up for Things No One Tells You!
[00:07:17] Melvin: For the podcast. So... wait, I'm not the first guest?
[00:07:20] Lindsay: No, but you are doing your recording on the day that the trailer is up.
[00:07:25] Melvin: Oh, this is exciting. I haven't seen the trailer! Where is it?
[00:07:28] Lindsay: Yeah. I'll show you. Cheers!
[00:07:30] Melvin: Cheers. Congratulations!
[00:07:31] Lindsay: And thanks for being willing to be a guest.
[00:07:33] Melvin: I really have much of a choice, but.
[00:07:36] Lindsay: You always have a choice.
[00:07:38] Melvin: Do I? Do I?
[00:07:39] Lindsay: No?
[00:07:40] Melvin: I'm a hostile witness.
[00:07:43] Lindsay: No, the succulent is a nod to you. The succulent and the candle. Yeah, and the candle.
[00:07:48] Melvin: Thank you, sweetie. That's great.
[00:07:50] Lindsay: So I was saying that in my mind I was thinking, okay, Things No One Tells You that maybe your focus, you would want it to be like Things No One Tells You about the importance of a side hobby, but I don't even wanna call it a hobby because now you are full-fledged into this candle making business thing. But what I was also sharing with the folks watching listening is that I have no idea what your thing no one tells you is that you wanted to talk about the thing on your journey. That, that you have found that you think has value in helping others? What's the thing that no one tells you?
[00:08:28] Melvin: That's a good question. You're good at this.
[00:08:30] Lindsay: Is it work-related? Is it not?
[00:08:33] Melvin: Is it, I think it's both. I think it's professional. I think it's personal. First of all, I think there are a lot of things that no one tells you. I think professionally, for me, the thing that no one told me was just how much work outside of the show would be involved. Like people, people watch the show and it's oh, you're interviewing an actor or a musician or a politician, and so you can prepare for that sort of thing. It's the stuff after the show. That no one tells you about the luncheons or the round tables. Or, I said to someone recently, I said, sometimes it's like being mayor of a small city. And there's a lot that you don't really understand until you get the job. But I also think that's because there, there's so few people that do it and there are not a lot of people who've done it. And oftentimes the people who have, they don't leave under the best of circumstances.
[00:09:33] So there's not a willingness to necessarily pass along that information. So, there's a lot of stuff that comes with a job that I didn't fully appreciate that no one told me. And it's also, it's all- consuming. It's watching the series that you're interviewing this actress or watching the movie where you're interviewing the actor or, yeah. So that's the professional part that no one tells you.
[00:10:02] Lindsay: I wanna hear about the other part, but what's so interesting...
[00:10:05] Melvin: This is nice champagne. What are we drinking?
[00:10:06] Lindsay: Really? It's actually Prosecco because
[00:10:08] Melvin: We're going cheap on the podcast?
[00:10:10] Lindsay: We're not, but I didn't wanna use like, one of… it's a Prosecco. So, I tell people my perspective on, and for those that might not know, Melvin took over as co-host of the Today Show in January. So, I assume that a lot of people that follow me in this space do know that, but some people, I'm sure, don't. Maybe, so he and Savannah Guthrie are co-hosts of the Today Show. And when that's also always been like a lifelong dream, right? That's the dream for you when you,
[00:10:42] Melvin: It's funny, I don't know if it was a lifelong dream, really. Yeah, no, I think it was one of those things that it became more of a dream the closer I got to it. But when I got into the business, you get into, especially back, back in the day in the, in, in the early aughts when you get into, got into the business, yeah. You dreamed about maybe hosting the Today Show, but it wasn't like a, it wasn't a tangible dream, like you just thought, oh wow, that would be awesome if it happened. And then it's okay, you're doing the daily ground, you're covering car wrecks and house fires and robberies and weird political scandals.
[00:11:21] And then you, you resign yourself to the fact that, okay, if I can just get to a bigger market, that'd be great. I can just get to it. And so, when I got to DC, it's oh wow, this is great. I could do this forever. I could retire here. And then I think maybe it was in DC when I would travel up on a train and fill in from time to time on weekend today in a MSNBC, then I was like, okay, whoa, huh. Maybe it is feasible.
[00:11:49] Lindsay: Wow. Yeah,
[00:11:50] Melvin: So, I don't, yeah. Does that make sense?
[00:11:52] Lindsay: It does. And it's so crazy because we had our paths at a similar place at that time because we met in DC. So, it's interesting to hear your perspective on that. Real quick, back to the part about the show and the stuff that no one tells you about after. That's one thing that I observe from afar with you that I have started to share when people are like, what's it like? And the thing that's so impressive about it. But also, I think you're right. People just don't realize, I would venture, that the hours when the show is on…
[00:12:29] Melvin: Those are the easiest hours.
[00:12:30] Lindsay: Because you've prepped for it.
[00:12:32] Melvin: Right.
[00:12:33] Lindsay: Also, because I'm always blown away by the amount of producers and prep and each segment has their own person. So, you are fully educated on what you are supposed to be doing, to react well in that moment.
[00:12:46] Melvin: And that's assuming that there's nothing crazy that's happened overnight, that there's no breaking news, that there isn't some sort of bombing or mass shooting or, but yeah, you, it's, I think yesterday it was, it's Benicio del Toro and you're interviewing him for five minutes and then all of a sudden you're doing a shop today segment and then, and the expectation is you are just as prepared for your five minute interview with Benicio del Toro on his new Wes Anderson movie. As you are on that shot today segment, you would be for that cooking segment with Bobby Flay and all of these producers who are coming at you the day before. There's a rhythm that you have to get used to that you don't fully appreciate until you get the job.
[00:13:35] Because before January, I'd do a segment here, a segment there. But it's hard to explain to people. Because people who watch the show, I think, who've been watching for 73, 74 years and I think part of the magic is making it look easy and the shit's not easy and you don't realize it.
[00:14:00] Lindsay: What part of the shit isn't easy?
[00:14:02] Melvin: You don't wanna, in this day and age especially. If you screw up something small, it goes viral, or if you say something that's factually inaccurate or if you just generally make an ass of yourself like it, but you, it's, you walk on a tight rope every day. And so, I didn't fully appreciate that until I got the job, and so now I'm learning it. Now you just, you over prepare, and you have to do a, you have to do a really good job of keeping your blinders on in the morning and drowning out the noise.
[00:14:33] Lindsay: So how do you do that? How do you protect your peace?
[00:14:35] Melvin: In the car? You know this, in the car, on the ride in, I listen to a lot of gospel music. I meditate, and I start my trip with, it's about 55 minutes into the city. I start my trip with that, and then when I have about 45, 30, 45 minutes left, I pivot to just prep, and then I hop on the phone with the control room or the newsroom.
[00:15:00] At that point, I haven't moved into the control room, but then I hop on the phone, and we'll talk through a segment or if we wanna change something or, there was a, oh, what was it? I, again, part of it also is that it's a blur. There was one morning where someone had an idea, oh, was it going back to Benicio del Toro to someone was like, they had a seven and a half minute standing ovation at Cannes.
[00:15:23] It would be nice if we could simulate that on the show. And so, I was like, yeah, we should have the control room stand and clap the plaza stand and clap people in the studio stand and clap. And the, and Pete Breen, he was like, we can't do seven and a half minutes. I was like, I know, but what if we did it for 20 minutes, 20 seconds and then we would, and, so it turned into a moment. And then this morning we had, gosh, this is sad.
[00:15:50] Lindsay: Seven and a half minute ovation at Cannes.
[00:15:53] Melvin: Oh yeah.
[00:15:53] Lindsay: Because it was that good?
[00:15:54] Melvin: It's a Wes Anderson movie. You had Brian Cranston, you had Tom Hanks, you had Scarlet Johansson, you had Benicio del Toro, you had Michael Erra. You had, I mean you had a, the stacked cast and it, it, was quite the, it's quite the film. But, the question out of it was, what do you do for seven and a half minutes? And his response was after like 30 seconds, you're like. You start clapping with everyone because you feel so awkward, but then you go from that to today, I think it was today, Robert De Niro was talking about Tribeca, with Jean Rosenthal. And I've interviewed De Niro a number of times. It's never easy because he's one of these guys, Robert de Niro is 81 years old. He's got. He's got a catalog of films and some TV shows, but mostly films that span generations. He's been interviewed a lot,
[00:16:54] Lindsay: Right? So, you gotta,
[00:16:55] Melvin: So, you can't ask him a question. He hasn't been asked. And so, part of the fun for me is CO is trying to come up with that one thing that he's never been asked or come up with. That one moment that he's never experienced. And I love meeting the parents, and you got Robert De Niro talking about milking like cat tits and milking himself. And, so I'm like, of all the memorable lines you've delivered, Mr. De Niro. Did you ever think that milking a cat would be one of your most memorable? And that becomes the challenge. The greatest challenge is to overcome the sameness that consumes us. And I enjoy the challenge.
[00:17:46] Lindsay: It lights you up. Like it's like the connection that you're, it's, a connection too. It's the moment. I've never heard you talk about that. Like you're trying to find the moment. You're right. It's sad. Yeah. And it's like sports, everyone says you understand the moment. The moments of big concepts.
[00:18:02] Melvin: But you know this, you've interviewed thousands of people over the years. There comes a point where you've interviewed someone dozens of times. And so, the challenge is trying to get something out of them that they haven't shared before or to get them to show a side of themselves that they haven't shared. And that's hard.
[00:18:24] Lindsay: Right. And so, you have to be prepared, but you also have to, you have to listen, right? Like you have to, like it's listening and it's connecting at that moment.
[00:18:32] Melvin: Yeah. And finally, it's like marriage. 90% of what makes our marriage spectacular is I spend so much time listening,
[00:18:41] Lindsay: As do I. So then who's talking?
[00:18:45] Melvin: Let your listeners and viewers just decide for themselves.
[00:18:48] Lindsay: Shut up. The reality here though, is that you do, I think at some point… Do you think you're always going to feel it necessary to watch everything that your guests are in? Because that has, that's a lot. If you're watching every movie, an episode, like that’s…
[00:19:03] Melvin: And some of 'em are really bad,
[00:19:04] Lindsay: And you didn't even like interviewing actors. Before you said that you asked...
[00:19:08] Melvin: I still don't. But I'm being serious.
[00:19:11] Lindsay: Why?
[00:19:11] Melvin: I don't like celebrity interviews because most of them have been interviewed
[00:19:16] Lindsay: So many times. Yeah.
[00:19:19] Melvin: And, if there's something controversial, they've got a team of people around them who have coached them on how not to answer a question. And no, celebrity interviews aren't my favorite. I enjoyed interviewing people who are just ordinary people, and I hate to use that adjective, but
[00:19:41] Lindsay: Every day, like everyday folks, people, yeah.
[00:19:44] Melvin: Famous, whatever that means now, but those people who've overcome something extraordinary or done something extraordinary, I like catching that person the day after they've had the best day of their life. And they didn't, and they didn't see it coming. that lights me up. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I don't enjoy. Like A-list movie stars and spending time with them. I'm not saying that, but I would just rather, I would rather have the other end of the spectrum, if that makes sense.
[00:20:10] Lindsay: The unexpected.
[00:20:11] Melvin: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:20:12] Lindsay: The relatable. So, wait, so that's the thing no one tells you professionally.
[00:20:19] Melvin: Professionally, no one. Also, I would also add to that, I don't know how much time we have for this podcast. Take your time. No one also tells you the sheer sacrifice. That is required to make it. I use air quotes deliberately, like I don't I think that a lot of people don't understand how hard you have to work, how much you have to be willing to give up, how much you have to second guess yourself and your decisions, and feel like an imposter, how much you have to experience all of that. To eventually make it, and even when you make it, whatever, that, again, whatever that means, if you're doing it right, you still don't feel comfortable. You still feel like you constantly have something to prove professionally, and I think that's, I think it's a good thing.
[00:21:14] Lindsay: Why do you think that is? Do you think it's because you're trying not to fail and you obviously don't wanna get fired from the thing that you've gotten to? Or do you think it's also a piece of human nature you get there? And then we will, what else is there? What do you think?
[00:21:29] Melvin: You climb a mountain, you get to the apex, and you look around and you're like, wow, this view's amazing. What do I do now? Do I stay at the top of the mountain? Do I climb down? Do I go back the other way? The way I came up? You don't. But no one tells you that. It's like you gotta, it's like climb the mountain, climb the mountain, climb the mountain. You get to the top and you're like, oh wow, this is pretty amazing. And then you go, “Okay, do I go to another mountain?” What do you do? And so, then it becomes, then the challenge becomes staying at the top of the mountain.
[00:22:01] And no one tells you that. No one tells you that you can work towards something your entire professional career, you get it, you achieve it, and then all of a sudden the obsession becomes keeping it and not being the person with your name on the door when the show goes sideways or the ratings tank or whatever. It's funny because my, good friend and my therapist, Charlie, we talk about this. It's hard for people to understand struggles when they've never experienced the kind of struggle and you also can't.
[00:22:40] People are going to watch this and hear this, and they're like, Craig Melvin's complaining. He’s got it pretty good. He's got a beautiful wife. He's got amazing kids. He’s got a great job, he's got all these wonderful trappings of life, and he's... And I'm not complaining. All I'm saying is that there's just a lot of stuff that people don't tell you about. Keeping all of those things and maintaining all of those things and juggling all of those things… I think you could charge me for a therapy session after this. This is that. She got me with the champagne. That's how she softened me up.
[00:23:17] Lindsay: So the thing about the thing that no one tells you is what you just said. I wanna go back to you for a second because I really, really do think everyone has a different experience. Everyone has a different journey. But from my perspective, you, I understand why you would say, oh, people aren't gonna think, Craig Melvin, how could you possibly have a struggle within the thing, whatever.
[00:23:38] But you're the only one that's had that struggle. Certainly, others can relate to it on some level. There are still things you experience along the way that people will experience in a different scenario, a different way. So I just really do think there is so much power in even sharing what you think those things are because at the end of the day, sacrifice and understanding that you might not see the full picture until you get there and wow, that's hard. That's something that people can relate to and it doesn't matter what their circumstances are. I agree with you. Like sacrifice. We talked to Brian Hernandez, the jockey who won the Kentucky Derby, and his wife said that his son, when they were talking about, can we win it again? And he said, "Dad, don't go for it again because that means you're not gonna be here. You weren't here at all that whole year after." So it's from perspective and sacrifice. And he talks so much about just the crazy sacrifice. 'Cause he is gone from December until March if he's lucky. And then probably a lot after that. Do you know what I mean?
[00:24:44] Melvin: I do know what you mean, but it's funny 'cause you start to talk to other people who've sacrificed a lot. Shaq was on the show last week and he’s got a great documentary out on Netflix. And he sat, he sat his son down and basically tried to explain to him what it would take to be a professional basketball player. And if you watch the scene, you are... it sounds like he's probably trying to talk him out of it. And sometimes I think about our kids and whether…I think Delano especially has demonstrated an interest, to a certain extent, in what we do, whatever that looks like, 10, 12 years, 20 years from now.
[00:25:32] And I don't know if I would encourage them to get into the family business. Because for you it was weekends. You miss a lot of weekends when you're covering sports. For me, it's elections, it's Olympics, it's mass shootings, it's whatever unexpected call in the middle of the night. It's not being able to be present. After 8:00 PM because I've gotta watch a show or a series or read something.
[00:25:57] Lindsay: I mean, if it's a good series, that's fun for us.
[00:25:59] Melvin: Yeah. But the reality is most of them aren't. And that's something else no one tells you. I watch a lot of crap and I'm proud of you for that because, but, again, no one tells you that. Like every actor or actress or musician you interview, albums, not gonna... show's not gonna be wonderful. The film's not gonna be an Oscar winner, but you have to watch it. So that and you also, for me at least, it's always been important that whoever I'm sitting across from that they know I'm taking the assignment seriously. I think that's the biggest thing.
[00:26:37] Lindsay: Yeah. Because at the end of the day, it is really all about the relationships and the people. I think. So, what’s the part about managing? What have you learned in these few months about… I don't wanna say managing people, because it's not like they're working for you, they're, it's also your colleagues. It's also us. It's also all the things around you. What have you learned about how to do that or what you need to be doing?
[00:27:02] Melvin: Keep the circle tight. I, and you know this, a lot of the people that I deal with now, I've dealt with for 20 plus years, I don't... part of it is, as I get older, I'm even more of a creature of habit, but I don't, deal with a lot of people that I don't know, that I don't trust. And if I'm dealing with them, I'll ask people that I do know and trust about them. I don't deal with unknown quantities. And it's funny because at some point, I guess I developed that reputation because people now have said that to me, like people. I know you don't like to talk about it. I'm like, that's not what it's about.
[00:27:43] I just don't know them. I deal with people that I trust. I deal with people who've proven themselves. I don't, I've never taken wild uncalculated risks. I'm risk averse, admittedly, and I think it served me well professionally.
[00:27:57] Lindsay: Personally, I think it's funny with us because we're very opposite.
[00:28:00] Melvin: We oh, oh, yeah. Oh, we are. Look at the wallpaper in here.
[00:28:04] Lindsay: But it's great. And you played along, because this is the beautiful complimentary color of orange.
[00:28:09] Melvin: You told me this was a shirt that I was supposed to wear.
[00:28:11] Lindsay: No, I did not. What are you… Now that is a blatant lie. I did not.
[00:28:14] Melvin: I came in and I said, is this shirt okay?
[00:28:17] Lindsay: I said it was great.
[00:28:18] Melvin: You said, oh, you said this shirt compliments the wall. And I knew that was code for "don't change your shirt, sit down."
[00:28:25] Lindsay: You had already come in, like in that, but it is, it matches your candle.
[00:28:28] Melvin: Thank you. So that's a lesson for you just, if you, it's funny because, and I've had other people say this to me, and I, by the way, I take it as a high compliment. People who've known me for 30 years, they'll say to me and say, You seem to be that kind of the same guy you were in high school. You seem to be, and sometimes I think they're saying it disparagingly. I wear it as a badge of honor. I think that's great. I think so. I think so. In some ways it's probably not, but no, I'm like this, I'm the same guy.
[00:28:59] Because I don't know. I think that people can sometimes veer off track when they, first of all, when they pretend to be someone that they're not, comfortable in their own skin. They surround themselves with people who pour leeches. Like I, I've said this to you before. I will say, the older I get, the more I'm convinced that people are just trying to take money.
[00:29:24] I just think everybody's trying. I do, I think everyone's just trying to like, like you upcharges, I, now I sound like an old guy on the porch. You can edit this part out, but I do feel like there are a lot of people that are looking for a quick buck and I don't deal with those people. So edit that out if you want. But that's how I feel about a lot of scoundrels out there.
[00:29:50] Lindsay: It is also interesting because of the way that our industry is evolving. Can I share that you have Tom Broca's couch in your office?
[00:30:00] Melvin: I guess you can, since you just said it.
[00:30:02] Lindsay: I think it's the coolest thing. You have Tom Broca's couch from back in the day. When I watched the show when he was the anchor. It is when you think about the way that television is continuing to evolve. Yeah. And then when you're talking about the things that no one tells you, it's this constant conveyor belt of just having to understand how to evolve. And also, like you mentioned, the social media factor like that is, that's intense. Like it was very different back in the day. I'm sure.
[00:30:34] Melvin: We didn't have it. We didn't do it.
[00:30:35] Lindsay: And to go out there on the plaza. When you guys go on the plaza or like you didn't have that? People now trying to take, like I know how much you love to take selfies
[00:30:44] Melvin: And it's just one of my favorite things of all time. Love a good selfie.
[00:30:49] Lindsay: Okay, so the candle business. This is…I think it should be,
[00:30:54] Melvin: it's full disclosure. That's the only reason I agreed to do the podcast. Not because you are my wife and the love of my life, but you promised that I would be able to promote my new hobby.
[00:31:05] Lindsay: So I didn't know though, what I said is, I didn't know what you were gonna say. The things that no one tells you is, I wasn't sure which direction you were gonna start in, but, so my thought was that we were probably gonna talk about the importance or the desire for a side business, a side thing.
[00:31:22] Melvin: But so what? But it's not really a side thing. It's not a hustle.
[00:31:27] Lindsay: I just, no, I didn't say hustle.
[00:31:28] Melvin: I know, but it, but I just, I started. Oh, it was about a year and a half now, more than a year and a half. Anyway, I got into candle making. I needed to develop a hobby with my hands that didn't include bourbon or golf.
[00:31:41] Lindsay: And specifically with your hands.
[00:31:42] Melvin: Yeah. You really want, yeah, making something, creating something I like. I do enjoy creating and I've always loved a good candle. And I was talking to my therapist, and he was like, you can make candles. And I was like, we think I'm some sort of Luddite. And then I got some books and watched some YouTube videos and. And now I spend a fair amount of time in the garage, like mixing and matching fragrances and playing with different waxes and wicks and vessels. I like the vessel that you picked up.
[00:32:12] Lindsay: I love this vessel. But we can't do this vessel 'cause you said it's too expensive.
[00:32:16] Melvin: It's a nice vessel. The texture is beautiful on it.
[00:32:19] Lindsay: I like the texture. This is very…
[00:32:21] Melvin: It's not cheap.
[00:32:22] Lindsay: This is a, what do you call it, anthropology type, or like a terrain, which is a one, one of our favorite stores.
[00:32:30] Melvin: I think it took me a while to fully appreciate why I enjoyed the candle making process so much, and the process itself, like the, melting of the wax and the adding the fragrance and the stirring and the setting the wick and, oh, that's cathartic. And then the more I did it, the more I realized it was also about when you have that finished product and you smell whatever fragrance you've mixed most, fragrances, most scents, they remind you of something, right?
[00:33:00] Sometimes they remind you of someone or some place or some thing or some event. They evoke memories. and I enjoy that. I enjoy the candle right now that you're burning, It smells like an office. It smells like one that I burned downstairs in my office, which is not nearly as fancy, but there's some leather in that. It's more of a masculine scent.
[00:33:23] Lindsay: Yeah, I said tobacco and bourbon, but it is masculine.
[00:33:26] Melvin: Yeah. There's no tobacco in there.
[00:33:27] Lindsay: Okay. So, I hate the word passion project and so I was actually grateful.
[00:33:36] Melvin: Why, but why do you hate it?
[00:33:37] Lindsay: I'm grateful that you said you didn't wanna call this a side hobby. I don't like the phrase passion project. You know why? Because right or wrong, I think passion project has a hint of, “It's a passion project. Oh, it's her... it's someone's side thing that they just love.” Because passion projects can be perfect, they can describe what they are. But I think if someone is really hopeful about doing something and sees that it's more than just a passion project. You know what I mean?
[00:34:15] Melvin: Yes, yes and no. I, because I think that for me, this is a passion project. Like it's a, it's something I've become passionate about and it's a project.
[00:34:28] Lindsay: Okay.
[00:34:29] Melvin: But I hear what you're saying. I think, sometimes yes. When people. They use it and it can sound dismissive as if it's not something that someone is serious about. It's, oh, that's their little thing that they do on the side.
[00:34:42] Lindsay: Are you a start with yes or a start with no?
[00:34:44] Melvin: I start with no. I used to start with, yes. And then I realized a while ago that no is far more powerful. I can't control a lot of my life anymore, but I can control a lot of my free time. And so if I'm doing something outside of my assigned hours of employment, it's gotta be something that I'm passionate about. It's gotta be something with my fam, like in the end and all, and you and I have had this conversation, sometimes the friction that we have on the weekends is, my favorite hobby is doing nothing.
[00:35:18] Like I don't need to be hanging out with people I don't really enjoy or having conversations with people I don't really enjoy talking to. I would much rather. Be out back by the pool or maybe even taking miles for a while. I just want to get better at golf. I bought new clubs. I enjoy doing nothing. And you enjoy frequently doing something.
[00:35:41] Lindsay: So, it's socialization.
[00:35:43] Melvin: Yeah. and by the way, to be fair, I think you, and you've said this many times, if left to my own devices, I would probably have no friends. We would have no friends because you talk about the importance of cultivating relationships.
[00:35:56] Lindsay: Because if you say no, if multiple times, then people are going to stop asking,
[00:36:00] Melvin: That's exactly why I say no.
[00:36:02] Lindsay: But you can't do that if you wanna have friends and you wanna be good friends. So, yes. A lot of what we talk about is how do you balance and split the difference. Balance, because you've gotta, it's, you've, gotta find a middle ground.
[00:36:17] Melvin: I don't have to split the balance because you say yes so much.
[00:36:22] Lindsay: That's not true.
[00:36:24] Melvin: Are you kidding?
[00:36:25] Lindsay: I can, but then you just don't go.
[00:36:28] Melvin: it's, I go a lot of, I go a lot of, 50% of the times I do go, I don't want to go. But I go because I'm married to you and you like, I love you and you like to go, and you think friendships are paramount. And I get some of 'em are, some of 'em aren't really like some people, but it's, but I'm saying, what I'm trying to say is I appreciate the yin and yang. and yeah. And because I really only hanging out with about eight people
[00:36:55] Lindsay: Back the candles. What, so you started experimenting and then what? Because from there, and from my perspective, it only grew like your real desire to do it.
[00:37:05] Melvin: Part of what has always defined me, I think, is I don't like to half-ass anything. If I do something, I go all in. And so, I went all in on these candles, and I really started to enjoy it. And I thought, gosh, I can't just give all these candles away to friends. 'cause there comes a point where your friends are like, dude, you just gave me three last week. Like I'm, I can't burn 'em this fast. And so, I was like, maybe I can, figure out a way to generate some money for charity. We’re trying to figure out how to do that part of it now.
[00:37:37] And but I just, I enjoy it and I think, I also think candles, this is gonna sound cheesy and hokey I know, but I think candles are one of those few things that bring a lot of people just joy, just the sight and just light smell and just light.
[00:37:50] Lindsay: Serenity.
[00:37:51] Melvin: Yeah. it's, you see a candle burning, it brings you down. It's like rubbing a dog's belly, and I like that. And I've really enjoyed trying to create fragrances that are unique, that also for me personally, conjure, conjure up certain memories. So yeah, it's a weird hobby. I know people sometimes are.
[00:38:19] Lindsay: I like it.
[00:38:20] Melvin: They look at me with three eyes. They're like, really? The Today Show guy's making candles. Wow. That's pretty sad.
[00:38:25] Lindsay: No, it's great.
[00:38:27] Melvin: You and my wife, you have to see it.
[00:38:28] Lindsay: Your space is great. If you could recreate one fragrance that brought back nostalgia of something, what would it be?
[00:38:35] Melvin: I've already done it. The Betty Jo. You know the Betty Jo Candle?
[00:38:40] Lindsay: Yeah. But what exactly? It smells like your mom.
[00:38:41] Melvin: It's named, yeah, it's named after my mother. I'll break some news for you here on the podcast. If and when we launch a line of candles, it'll be in the first batch of fragrances. Because it reminds me of the pound cake that she used to make when we were kids and for a while to help make ends meet, Mom... She baked cakes on the side. I can still see the bundt pan that she used to use. And so yeah, she used to make a lot of pound cakes and so it smells like pound cakes she used to make.
[00:39:15] Lindsay: Oh, did you intentionally set out to make it smell like a pound cake?
[00:39:19] Melvin: No, that's a good question. No, I saw a fragrance bottle and it said pound cake, and I was like, I wonder if this smells like mom's pound cake. And I took that bottle and I added some other stuff and played around with the recipe. And then after a while I was like, it's pretty, pretty doggone close. So no, I didn't set out for that.
[00:39:44] But it, but to be clear, I, there was, there's a fragrance that you liked. It's the one that, the first one that you were like, Ooh, that's really good. I'm working on tweaking that one. All of the fragrances have to mean something to me. And the older I get, the more I firmly believe that the things and people that you surround yourself with should mean something and whether it's a candle or whether it's a piece of art or a vacation or what, like it should, things like it should matter. Like it's, you just don't know when all of this ends abruptly. Does that make sense?
[00:40:22] Lindsay: Is there anything that you have discovered on your candle making journey that you think is worthy of sharing, that could be helpful for other people?
[00:40:31] Melvin: I think it's, I think it is, I think it's good for everyone to have a hobby. It's weird.
[00:40:40] Lindsay: I love that.
[00:40:41] Melvin: I think everyone should do something that doesn't fit. Who people think they are. I, just, I don't know. It's, for me, it was like I didn't grow up making, like I didn't know anything about this until, two years ago. I think everyone, and, what's funny is since I've gotten into candle making, you start talking to other people and they share some of their word hobbies and you're like, wow, I would've never.
[00:41:10] Huh, D-Wade, I would've never guessed that you were a wine connoisseur, and you like to spend time in fields picking grapes and or like you start talking to Shaq. Wow. You really do enjoy DJing. You spend hours like on the ones and twos. It fills you up. Yeah. Or you start talking to actors who, like we had Seth Rogen on. He's got a fantastic show on Apple and he's talking about like this pottery,
[00:41:45] Lindsay: I've heard about his pottery obsession.
[00:41:47] Melvin: And so you start realizing that a lot of people who we have been deemed successful, who've achieved, professionally, reasonable modicum of success, they have things on the side that I'm fairly certain now. Make them better at what they do primarily. Does that make sense?
[00:42:10] Lindsay: It does, because that's part of why I go to my improv class.
[00:42:13] Melvin: I know.
[00:42:14] Lindsay: And I'm not, but the thing about that and what you just said,
[00:42:17] Melvin: And it's made you so much funnier, too.
[00:42:20] Lindsay: I'm not good at it.
[00:42:21] Melvin: That's not true. No.
[00:42:23] Lindsay: What last, class I, we, we were paired up with a buddy and then we had to be an inanimate object and they told us what we were, and guess what I was, we were two sausage links. And we had to act down to sausage links and it's. I love the fact that I am not funny when I'm in that class. Like it's a struggle. I leave that class..
[00:42:46] Melvin: That's the first I'm hearing of it. Did you pick sausage or they assigned sausage?
[00:42:49] Lindsay: No, they assigned them. We were sausages. There was some group who were two ties, someone was two French fries in the bottom of the bag and me and my friend were two sausage links.
[00:42:57] Melvin: What kind of sausage?
[00:42:58] Lindsay: They did. We had to create the scene. The whole... we were, in my mind, we were two
[00:43:02] Melvin: Butterball… kielbasa...
[00:43:05] Lindsay: But we were links in the same package. So, she was on her back, I was on my stomach, and we had to act out. And that's part of the thing, you have to act out how you're related, what your circumstance was. And it was the most bizarre. It made no sense, but it was so much fun. And I left there being like. That was not something that I would ever say. Oh, that was good. You were a good sausage. But it...
[00:43:27] Melvin: Sweetie, you were, I know you were a good sausage.
[00:43:29] Lindsay: Thing it's, it, you're flexing muscles. Done. Three things that no one knows about you. This is how we end.
[00:43:38] Melvin: I don't think that I know three things that you don't know about me.
[00:43:43] Lindsay: Three things no one knows about you…
[00:43:45] Melvin: Sweetie. I think if I told people three things you didn't know about me, that'd be a little weird.
[00:43:48] Lindsay: They can be things that I know.
[00:43:49] Melvin: Okay. Three things that most people don't know about me. Oh. I wash my hair twice a week. Is that weird?
[00:44:00] Lindsay: Oh, you don't have much of it. Is that why, or do, is it only twice OCD, twice OCD twice? Never more?
[00:44:06] Melvin: Never more, never.
[00:44:07] Lindsay: Specific days of the week.
[00:44:09] Melvin: It depends on the day I get my hair cut.
[00:44:10] Lindsay: Really?
[00:44:11] Melvin: Yep, yep.
[00:44:12] Lindsay: Does it, is it better or a few days unwashed?
[00:44:15] Melvin: I think so. That was a weird thing to share. So that's one thing people don't know about me. It's the second thing people don't know about me. I check my bank account multiple times every day. No, but just to make sure I haven't been scammed. 'cause we do so many stories about scams and fraud that I'm, you asked about things that people don't know about me.
[00:44:35] Lindsay: I know. No, I actually value that. That's very nice.
[00:44:39] Melvin: The third thing that people don't know about me is. I cry by myself, probably a couple times every week about random things.
[00:44:52] Lindsay: Oh, no. Where?
[00:44:55] Melvin: In the car usually. So, no way you can see me.
[00:44:58] Lindsay: Like on the way home from the city or on the way into the city?
[00:45:00] Melvin: Usually on the way in, but not
[00:45:05] Lindsay: What kinds of things do you cry about?
[00:45:06] Melvin: This is gonna get dark real fast, and a lot of it's about, death and people, I just, I, or a song might move me, or, a memory might I, I'll have a memory of a grandparent or it's just, yeah. But it, but I, but not to God. People are just really gonna think that Craig Melvin's a whack job. I find it to be, again, quite cathartic.
[00:45:31] Lindsay: Yeah.
[00:45:32] Melvin: Yeah. I don't usually cry in the house. I keep my crying outside the house. Sometimes I cry.
[00:45:39] Lindsay: What's the last thing that made you cry?
[00:45:41] Melvin: Gee, what kind of podcast is this? The last thing that made me cry, a mutual friend, a mutual friend of ours died. And there was a song that was played at his funeral that was on my playlist, and he, we were at a funeral on Friday, and then on Monday when I was on the car ride in the song just popped up, like it was just the natural next song. And so, I cried then. K. Alright. Cheers.
[00:46:16] Lindsay: This is nice. Thank you. Thank you.
[00:46:17] Melvin: This wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
[00:46:19] Lindsay: Thanks. I'm excited to have you back.
[00:46:22] One thing I appreciate about Melvin is he always comes to play, right? He's just, that is something that I take for granted is his jovial happy personality. Here's what though, I, when he's talking about, first of all, the candle hobby, it, I really am proud of him because he has approached this in a very methodical, thoughtful way. And I have no doubt that this is going to become something that he's just very excited about and that I think other people will enjoy too. But when he talked about the pressures of the job and also the movies, literally y'all, he is watching every single movie that he has an actor on that he's gotta interview.
[00:47:00] And I suddenly feel you know how people talk about their kids in screen time. Of course. It's so important to limit that. I almost think I'm about to have to do that with my husband and I would not do that. So, it impacted his job. But recently we had a conversation 'cause I was like, I understand completely that you need to watch all of these, for context for the interview. But man, that's a lot of hours of TV watching. And anyway, that is one of the new normals that we're navigating through. And it certainly is good when it's something that we like to watch together or something that he can watch with the family too. But just something that was unexpected, that is an interesting sidebar to the job.
[00:47:39] But anyway, thank you, Melvin, for joining. And for those of you listening, I would love to hear what you loved about this episode. Thank you so much for listening, for watching. Don't forget to follow us at TNOTY, Things No One Tells You and subscribe. Follow us wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lindsay, and I'll see you next week.
[00:47:57] Thanks so much for joining me. I can't wait to see you back here next week. Please don't forget, follow and subscribe to Things No One Tells You. And of course, if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, don't forget to leave a five star review because that's really what helps people get more listeners. We would love to grow this community. We are so grateful that you're a part of it. See you next time.
